


True Love's Kiss

by pennywritesthings (orphan_account)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 15:25:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12111666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/pennywritesthings
Summary: Soulmates were total, total bullshit. But Ryan wasn't.





	True Love's Kiss

Growing up, you weren’t as skeptical as you were now.

You were a hopeless romantic, as most little kids were. After all - the idea of having one person who loved you so much that it literally transcended _lives_ was the most romantic thing to possibly exist. You had seen it in the eyes of your mother and father, in the eyes of your sister, when she found hers, and your brother, when he found his. Soulmates were real, and they were powerful and so incredible. 

Or, at least, you _thought_ you saw it in your mother and your father. When they got divorced, you were totally crushed. They were _soulmates,_ how was it even possible for them to not love each other anymore? How was it possible to have the soul bond that they had together, then to get married, and then suddenly stop? 

At the time, your mother explained it to little eight year old Y/N by saying that sometimes, being somebody's soulmate wasn’t enough. She told you that you would understand when you were older and your started to get your memories back from your past life. Needless to say, you were still completely and utterly heartbroken. 

However, you still saw the beauty in soulmates. Just because one mated pair didn’t work out didn’t mean that soulmates as a whole weren’t as amazing as they seemed. You were so excited to reach age thirteen and start to remember who your soulmate was. 

It wasn’t until you were in the eighth grade that you started to lose all of your faith. You couldn’t remember anything from your previous life. Not a single thing. Not your past name, not what you looked like, and most definitely not who your soulmate was. After a few meetings with therapists and school counselors, it was determined that there were only two reasons why that could be. 

One - you were a First Generation version of yourself, meaning you had no past life and therefore there was no previous self for you to remember and that you couldn’t know your soulmate from a previous life for that very reason, or that you had Generational Amnesia, and as if you were in your own special brand of a stupid fucking fairy tale, only a kiss from your soulmate could bring back your memories. 

How fucking ridiculous was that. ‘True love’s kiss’. That was like, every storybook cliche to ever exist. Besides, what in the hell was the point of a soulmate anyway? One person to love you forever, throughout whole lives? What bullshit. Every single one of your friends had parents that were mated, and then they argued and hated each other. Even some of your teachers bitched about how their soulmate didn’t love them anymore, or that they didn’t love them anymore. 

You didn’t need a fucking soulmate. You were strong. You were independent. And, hell, if you _really_ wanted to love someone, you could. And, for a few times during high school, you did. It was somewhat encouraged for teenagers to date around before they found their soulmate so that it was easier for a mated pair to stick together in the later stages of a relationship anyway, since the first few months was the honeymoon stage and the next few were when the ‘real’ relationship started. 

And, hell, if you _did_ find your soulmate, you didn’t need to stay with them. They could be one hundred percent platonic - it was actually common to have platonic soulmates. Your two closest guy friends were platonic soulmates. 

Or, at least that was what you told yourself. Yes, you were maybe a bit jaded, but at heart, you were still a little kid and you still wished so badly that you could have your soulmate, whoever he or she or they may be. You wanted to meet them for the first time and feel like you were finally complete, you wanted to share a tender first kiss, and you wanted to hold their hand and cuddle them and eventually start a family with them, if that was what you guys wanted. 

But you would never let any of that see the light of the day. Instead, you went through your life being called a skeptic, a hater (and seriously, how lame did that sound?), and all sorts of names in between for being public about how much you didn’t care about finding your soulmate. That never stood in your way, though. You still dated around, and hell, you were happy with the people you got together with. You didn’t have any regrets. 

In fact, it was because one of your ex’s that you found yourself where you were now. Sarah had came from a rich family, and she had helped you learn tips and tricks on how to best save money, and she encouraged you to start following your passion: video games. You knew she didn’t understand your fascination with Let’s Plays and streaming and the like, but she was a very supportive girlfriend and was always so proud of you. 

It was unfortunate that she had ripped out your fucking heart and left you for dead when she found her her soulmate and left you. Though, that didn’t mean she didn’t talk to you anymore, which you still, years later, didn’t know if you were happy about. You _did_ know that you weren’t at all happy with the way she constantly tried to get you to move to nastyass Texas every time she made her weekly phone call to you.

Case in point… 

“No, Sarah. For the last damn time, I don’t want to move.” You said, exasperated as you put your dishes in the dishwasher with your phone between your ear and your shoulder like you were some sort of frazzled business woman in a mid 00’s rom-com who had better things to do.

“Come _on.”_ Sarah whined. You rolled your eyes. That shit might have worked on you when you were together, but now her whining was not as cute. (You meant that in the nicest of ways, of course - it just wasn’t doing her any favors, that’s all). “I know you’d love Austin. And what’s left for you in California anyway?” 

“My family and everything I’ve ever known?” You replied dryly, pouring in the detergent and turning on the machine. 

“Okay, well, yeah.” Mhm. That’s what you thought. “You know what I meant, Y/N. You’re doing so great with your streaming and your channel, girl. You’re fuckin’ _killin’_ it. Thousands of people watch your content every day, so now it’s time for you to move on to bigger places.” 

You knew she meant well. Really, she did. But god damn, you were _not_ going to move to Texas. “Normally, when people say that to small YouTubers, by ‘bigger places’, they mean Los Angeles, not Austin, Texas.” 

The other line was silent for a few moments. You sighed. Maybe your tone was a bit too mean there. You knew Sarah was mostly pushing you to move because it had been almost five years since she had moved to Austin with her soulmate and she missed her friend. And while you didn’t have any intentions to move out of your small town, much less your precious home state, there was no harm in visiting. 

“Listen, Sarah…” You paused, taking a few more seconds to think about whether or not this was something you could actually take the time to do. It would take a lot of working, both your actual job and filming for your YouTube channel. “I’m in no way promising a move, but I think I can take some time off and visit for a little bit.”

And, because you knew Sarah very well, you preemptively took your phone away from your ear while she shrieked in excitement like a fucking banshee. 

“Oh my _gosh!”_ Sarah squealed. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my _gosh!_ Okay, okay. Let’s work out dates so I can get some time off work, okay?”

And so you did. You worked harder than you had in a longass time to crank out a shit ton of videos to be put into queue while you were out, and you streamed for donation money twice as often as you usually did, and you picked up extra shifts at work so that you could afford the week off. 

It paid off, too. Within two months, you had your plane ticket purchased and your time off ready. Your fans were excited for more vlog-like content, but just to be safe, you made a second channel specifically for vlogs rather than actual gameplay. Finally, the time had come. You landed in Austin, Texas at 11 AM feeling groggy and jet lagged and generally pretty fucking cranky. 

Why in the hell were you in Texas, anyway? Yes, Sarah was a good friend of yours, but she had also left you for a soulmate who wasn’t guaranteed to be with her forever, and was now trying to get you to ‘move on’ and ‘further your career’. 

But, for fuck’s sake, there was nothing here for you as a gamer to move on to. You would have better luck moving to LA, the YouTube fucking _capital._ Sarah was being selfish, trying to have you here and be with her soulmate at the same time - 

You took a deep breath as you got on the escalator down to baggage claim. No. That wasn’t fair to her, you thinking those rude thoughts about her. Sarah was a kind woman. It wasn’t her fault she found her soulmate. Deep down, you knew you were just jealous. You were jealous that Sarah had a soulmate that wasn’t you, and you were jealous that she had a soulmate at all. 

When you met her, she was like you - no memories. You both held onto the hope that maybe you were each other’s soulmates and you were both First Generationals, but when she met her soulmate, she said she just _knew_ it was him. And, because you loved her and wanted nothing more than for her to be happy, even though it fucking killed you, you let her go. It was rude and unfair for you to be upset about this whole thing. 

So, you put on your best smile as you finally saw her waiting for you at baggage claim. And, since you were a professional at pretending to be happier than you were, your smile never once wavered when you noticed she was sporting a ring, a very obvious baby bump, and her soulmate by her side. What… The… Shit.

_You were her friend. You were supportive. You were her friend. You were supportive._

“Sarah! It’s so amazing to see you again!” You beamed, giving her a hug and avoiding the baby bump as much as you could before offering your hand to shake to the soulmate who’s name you weren’t going to fucking bother learning. “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N. Congrats, to the two of you. Gosh, engaged and a baby on the way. I’m surprised you didn’t tell me over the phone, Sar. You’ve never been good at keeping secrets.”

The man’s handshake tightened at the slight jab you worked in the end there, and you gave him a polite, terse smile as you returned the favor and gripped his hand tighter than you probably should have. When he pulled away, Sarah was completely oblivious to the showdown you just had with her man. Of course. Classic Sarah. 

“Well, I figured it’d be waaayy more of a surprise for you to find out this way. Come on, let’s get your bag and get out of here. We’ve only got a limited amount of time together today before I’ve got to go to a ladies brunch with my bridesmaids and Brent has to go to work. He took a half day just to go with me to meet you!” Sarah said excitedly, as if she was trying to talk him up to you. 

“Sarah, you can’t drive.” You pointed out dryly, already over trying to be friends, or even be friendly, with Perfect Soulmate Brad. He had proposed to your best friend, gotten her pregnant, and done _something_ to her to make her think that she didn’t need to tell you.

“That’s beside the point.” Sarah waved away your words with an errant hand. She either legitimately didn’t notice that you were being shitty now or she was ignoring it because she knew you too well and knew that you were all bark and no bite. You didn’t know which hurt worse. 

“So, what am I going to do while you two are doing your shit?” You asked, trying to wrap your head around the fact that not only did Sarah have a bridesmaid lunch planned just hours after you got into Texas, but you weren’t in her bridal party. You wondered which one of her perfect bleach blonde country bumpkin friends took your spot. 

Like it mattered. You didn’t even know she was getting married, or that she was pregnant. Why would you know who her friends were? ‘Best friend’ my ass. Why did you agree to this damn trip again? What was even here for you in Texas? You were Californian. You didn’t belong here. It looked like you barely had a friend here. 

“There’s a really awesome park right by our house. Lots of dogs. You still like dogs, right?” Sarah asked as the two of you (you didn’t count Brett as a person) headed to the car. 

“Yeah.” You said quietly, feeling more and more like this trip was a mistake by the second. The second you stepped out of the airport, you stopped dead in your tracks and looked over at Sarah slowly. “What fresh hell is this place?” 

The humidity was about to swallow you whole. You were almost able to fucking _swim_ in this air. The heat was fine - your hometown was often in the triple digits in heat. This was… Good god. This was hell. Satan lived here, you were sure of it. Maybe Brock was the devil. You side eyed him. Yeah. He could be the devil. 

“What, the weather? You get used to it.” And Sarah was his she-devil. You would be surprised if their little spawn didn’t come out with horns and a tail, spitting fire and shitting acid all over the place. “Come on. I still have to powder my nose before I head back out to lunch.” 

‘Powder her nose’? Who in the hell _was_ this woman? This was _not_ Sarah. This was Sarah’s evil twin. She _had_ to be. Your Sarah would never have said that. Or done anything that she had since you had broken up. 

This was a mistake. This was a huge, huge mistake. But, instead of getting your ass right back on a plane and pretending like this whole trip was one big fever dream, you followed Bryson and Sarah to their… oh my god, it was a mini van. Sarah _hated_ mini vans. She told you time and time again that she would rather die than have a mini van. She used to say if the two of you adopted or one of you accepted a sperm donor then you’d be the cool moms with like, a Ferrari or some shit. 

But this time, you kept your mouth shut. You loaded your things in the trunk and sat in the backseat, keeping your eyes on your hands clasped in your lap. You were going to have to think of as many excuses as possible to stay away from Sarah and Barry. You could Periscope with your fans. You could always try to stream some flash games on your laptop. 

That walk in the park that Sarah was mentioning could do you some good, too. Sure, it was humid as shit, but you did love dogs. They always made everything better. You pulled out your phone and typed out a tweet to your fans, not wanting them to think you were having a bad time. 

_Austin, Texas! You may be disgustingly humid, but worry not! You have a whole week to impress me!_

You hit the button and half heartedly scrolled through the rest of your mentions, liking a few of them and responding to them every now and again. After a moment or two, you scrolled back to the top of your mentions, only to see a lot of people all talking about the same thing. 

_Omg! Ur in ATX!!! U should do a video w @AchievementHunt !!_

_For every day that you don’t do a video with @AchievementHunt , a hostage dies._

_Are you going to visit @AchievementHunt while you’re there?_

_Is @Y/N finally going to join forces with @AchievementHunt ?_

And those were only a few of them. You had to admit, you were confused. Who in the hell was Achievement Hunt? A lot of your fans sure as hell were passionate about them. You clicked on their profile out of curiosity, reading their bio and seeing that they were Let’s Players. And they were verified. Hm. Interesting. However, in the event of saving these poor people’s mentions from your fans, you tapped out another tweet. 

_Sorry, guys. Since I only found out who these Achievement Hunter people are, I can safely say you won’t be seeing me in one of their videos, or vice versa._

You locked your phone and finally looked up, only to see that Bartholomew had just parked in front of the type of house you would see in the fucking Twilight Zone - perfectly manicured lawn, perfect architecture, a literal white picket fence, and the surrounding houses looked exactly like it. You wanted to go home. This place was awful. 

You slipped your phone into your pocket and braced yourself for the humidity again as you stepped out of the mini van and got your bags out of the trunk. The inside of the house was just as bad as the outside. You would be surprised if you saw even a single speck of dust while you were in this house. It barely looked fucking _lived in._ Sarah was one of the biggest slobs you had ever met - _you_ were the one who did the cleaning. What was this place?

“Okay, sweetheart!” Barney grinned, grabbing a briefcase from the floor and grabbing one of Sarah’s hands to pull her closer for a kiss to her cheek. “I’m going to go to work now. I love you!”

“I love you more, hun!” Sarah beamed, giving him another kiss on the cheek before giggling and waving goodbye. “Have a good day!” 

As soon as the door was closed, Sarah turned back around to give one of those fake smiles to you. It took everything you had to not shiver. “I’m gonna be leaving in a few minutes here. I have water bottles in the fridge - if you’re going to go out, you should take one. The park is just down the street and to the right of here. I’ll be back at around four, and then Brent will be home by 5:45, depending on traffic.”

 

You simply nodded. “Where’s the bathroom?” 

If you were going to go out and face the general public, you wanted to look halfway decent doing it. Your post-plane look wasn’t going to do you any favors. 

“Down the hall and to the left.” Sarah instructed, giving you another hug. You returned it, but it was anything but enthusiastic, on either of your ends. “I’m so excited you’re here! We’re going to have so much fun!”

“Yeah, for sure.” You gave her a smile as you pulled away, bringing your bag into the bathroom so you could change. You didn’t think you’d be able to describe your trip as fun at all. You took a deep breath as soon as you had closed the bathroom door behind you. It was just for a week. You could do this. One week. 

Ah, hell. 

You looked like shit. Maybe you couldn’t do this trip. You shook your head, washing your hands and then splashing cold water on your face. Slowly and methodically, you fixed your hair so that it looked somewhat presentable, and then changed into some shorts and a tank top rather than your ugly ass travel clothes. There. You looked slightly less like a zombie. 

By the time you stepped out of the bathroom to ask exactly where the park was, Sarah was exiting the door without so much as a goodbye. You sighed. God damn it. You wondered briefly if you had the funds to exchange your flight for tonight rather than a week from now. 

_No._

You shook your head. You were a strong-ass mother fucker. You could and you would survive this. That’s just who you were. You made your way to Sarah’s fridge and picked out a water bottle, then slipped your phone and your wallet into your pockets before heading out. 

As it turned out, the park wasn’t too hard to find. It only took like, fifteen minutes, and a lot of those minutes were waiting for the crosswalk. Traffic was awful here. You made your way over to the first bench you found, crossing one leg over the other and taking a sip of your water. God, it was fucking humid here. The heat was fine. But the humidity was the worst thing ever. You were never coming to this hellstate ever again. South by Southwest whom?

You jumped as you felt a wet something at your shins, but thankfully, you didn’t disturb the beautiful dog that was sniffing at you. Oh, god, you loved dogs. Maybe Texas was okay after all. This dog was amazing. You cooed at the pretty animal, scratching at its head and giggling when it licked you. Oh, man. Yep. Texas was saved. 

“Stella!” 

You jumped, startled as shit by the deep voice heading closer to you, and turned around to see probably the cutest guy you’d ever seen in your damn life. He had the brightest eyes you had ever seen - they were bluer than the damn _sky_ \- and sandy hair that was perfectly tousled, a sexy, scruffy beard, and a body that was well built, but in a way that looked effortless. 

“Stella, c’mon, baby girl, leave ‘em alone.” The man’s voice pleaded, making the poor baby dog whimper. 

“Oh, no, it’s alright.” You tried to reassure the man, holding one hand up and continuing to pet his dog with the other. “She’s not bothering me. Quite the opposite, actually.”

The man stopped dead in his tracks and stared directly at you for way, way too long. Was he okay? You slowly took your hands off of Stella. Maybe that was the issue. 

“Uh… you alright, man?” You asked cautiously.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine.” The man responded dazedly, then shook his head. “You seem familiar.”

Uh-oh. You sighed internally. This was another one of those guys who thought you were their soulmate right off the bat. And he had been so cute, too… It was a shame you were gonna have to shut that down before it even started. 

“You’ve probably seen me on YouTube or something.” You said quickly, then winced, rubbing the back of your neck. “Sorry, that made me sound a little full of myself. I’m not that popular, nor do I think I am, but I _am_ on there.”

You swiftly introduced yourself, standing up and holding your hand out to shake once you had given your real name and your YouTube username. 

“I’m Ryan Haywood, and believe me, I totally understand. It’s funny, I’m also on YouTube. I work for Achievement Hunter.” Ryan explained, and you vaguely remembered the tweets your fans had sent you earlier today. “I don’t like pulling the whole ‘internet famous’ card, but it’s really hard to explain the shit we do.” 

“I’m not gonna lie, I only just learned about Achievement Hunter a few hours ago.” You admitted sheepishly. “I haven’t seen any videos or anything. My twitter followers noticed I was in Austin and got a little excited, thinking that I was gonna do a let’s play with you guys or something.” 

Ryan’s eyes lit up, and you were once again struck by how handsome this man was. Good god. It was a shame that he started out with the whole ‘you seem familiar’ thing. “Oh, so you’re a let’s player?”

You simply nodded, offering Ryan a smile. “Not a big one or anything, but yeah. I’ve only got a couple thousand subs. God, that makes me sound like an asshole. I swear, I’m not as conceited as I’m making myself sound like. I’m very proud of my subs and I love each and every one of them.” 

“Well…” Ryan sucked air in through his teeth, absentmindedly petting his dog as he rocked back and forth on his heels. “I’d have to talk to my boss about it first, but would you like to? Make a let’s play with me, I mean.”

You raised an eyebrow, and Ryan’s cheeks flushed an adorable pink. 

“Oh god, no, I didn’t mean with just me - there’s five more of us in the main crew, but I’m there, obviously, and I’d like to spend more time with you, get to know this you.” Ryan tried to cover for himself, but unfortunately, he only dug himself into a deeper hole. 

‘Get to know _this_ you.’

He thought you were his soulmate. You winced, looking down before gathering up your stuff. 

“Listen, Ryan, it’s been great meeting you and all, but I think you think I’m somebody I’m not, and I’m sorry.” You bit the inside of your cheek, feeling truly hurt that you were doing this to a total stranger. You wondered briefly why you were getting upset over this. It was a conversation you had had a few times, but this one in particular was different. Maybe it was because if he hadn’t confused you for his soulmate, you’d actually be interested in the guy. Maybe it was because you were shallow and he was hot. 

“I don’t have a soulmate.” You continued, needing to continue so that you could put this to rest, even though it sucked. “But I hope you find yours again. Have a good day, man.” 

You waved bye to him and to his dog and turned around, intent on trying to find Sarah’s place and booking the first flight home. You couldn’t do this state anymore. You needed to just go home where the people around you knew not to bother the curmudgeonly trash goblin you probably looked like to them about soulmates. 

“No, no, please, wait.” It wasn’t Ryan’s plea for you to stop that made you stop, you told yourself. It was the sad whine coming from Stella that made you stop. Ah, hell, who were you kidding? Ryan may not be your soulmate, but you still didn’t want to be an asshole to the poor guy. He was too nice. And pretty. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so forward.” 

“But you did mean to refer to me as your soulmate.” You said as you turned around, wincing as you saw that Ryan looked like you had just kicked his dog. “I’m sorry, that was mean.” 

“No, you’re okay.” Ryan reassured you, offering you a soft smile. “I’m sorry, I won’t bring it up again. Do you mind if we start over, please?” 

You eyed Ryan’s outstretched hand, considering briefly denying his offer of a handshake and a fresh start, but, hell, what harm could it do? He seemed genuinely sorry, and if he still wanted to be your friend after you shut the poor guy down, he had to be alright. 

“Okay.” You took his hand and shook, giving him a smile. 

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Ryan Haywood, from Achievement Hunter, and this is my dog Stella.” Ryan looked so relieved, and his grin could light up the whole damn city of Austin. 

“Hi, Ryan. I’m Y/N, I make let’s plays for YouTube. It’s nice to meet you, and I love your dog.” You beamed, sitting back down on the bench and patting the seat next to you. “Would you care to sit down so I can get to know you better?”

“It would be my pleasure.” Oh, god, Ryan was adorable. Fuck. Maybe this fresh start thing was a bad idea. He was gonna make you _like_ like him. You hadn’t _like_ liked anyone since you were with Sarah, who ripped your heart from your chest and then made out with her soulmate on the shredded remains of your corpse. 

“So, Ryan.” You began, stroking between Stella’s ears, the dog looking almost as excited as Ryan that you decided to stay. “Tell me more about yourself.” 

You ended up staying in that park for three hours getting to know this man. You told him why you were here in Austin, told him about your past with Sarah, and he told you about how he had been looking for his soulmate, who he, unlike you, most certainly remembered, but had been having a hard time with it, which usually wasn’t at all the case.

He told you about how much he loved his job, his friends, and his family, and you let him know how passionate you were about what you did in life as well, even if you didn’t have a huge real-life support group like friends, a family, and coworkers. 

And you’d be damned if he wasn’t every bit of a fantastic man as you knew he’d be. And, true to his word, he never once brought up the ridiculous notion of his that you were his soulmate, even if the two of you _did_ talk about soulmates a lot. You almost wished he was, though. He was so wonderful. But you didn’t have a soulmate. And if you did, it wouldn’t be him. He deserved better. But you were eager to be his friend.

“I think it’s about time I head back to Sarah’s place.” You sighed reluctantly, giving Stella another kiss on her perfect dog head. Ryan frowned as you mentioned Sarah, as he had when you had told him about her in the first place. He was not her biggest fan, and honestly, you couldn’t blame him. You were starting to sort of resent her as well. 

“I wish you didn’t have to stay with her.” Ryan said, not for the first time. 

“I kind of wish that, too. But no matter what happened in the past, she’s still, a big part of who I am.” At least, she used to be. 

“I don’t think that’s true.” Ryan murmured softly. You could feel his eyes on you, but you couldn’t look over at him. You were worried that if you did, you might burst into tears or do something weird, like hug him and never let go. “I think you’re more than that.” 

“You barely even know me.” You hated that you were so mean, because it felt like Ryan _did_ know you better than Sarah did at the moment, but you weren’t going to take it back this time. Mostly because you were childish. 

“I know you well enough to know that you are so much better than the people that hurt you. I know you deserve better than what she put you through, and what she’s currently putting you through. Friends don’t do what she did and is doing to you, past relationship be damned.” Ryan said earnestly, petting Stella next to where your hand on her was, but not quite touching you. 

You bit your lip. He was right, you knew he was. But you were scared. There, you finally admitted it. You were scared. Scared shitless. Sarah didn’t want you anymore. She hadn’t in ages, and you hadn’t gotten over it. You were so hurt by this new her because you felt betrayed that she wasn’t who she was when you were with her, but you weren’t with her anymore. You had nothing to be upset over because she wasn’t yours. As much as you still didn’t like her Stepford (almost) Husband, they were soulmates. She wasn’t your soulmate.

She wasn’t your soulmate because you didn’t have a soulmate. And you had foolishly thought that maybe you did and it was her, but she wasn’t, and you needed to accept that. You had lived in denial for too long now. Way, _way_ too long. 

You were scared because Sarah wasn’t your soulmate when you thought she was, and you had thought that that meant that because she wasn’t yours, you didn’t have one. You had gotten bitter and angry at the world and at the Soulmate Principle because it hadn’t put you with her, but that didn’t mean you didn’t have anyone.  
You bit your lip and looked over at Ryan, trying hard not to cry. 

“Thank you.” You knew what you wanted to say, but you didn’t know how to say it. You weren’t half as good with words off camera as you were on it. “I… hadn’t started moving on from her when she left me, and I should have. Thank you for showing me that.” 

You wanted to thank him for more than that, though. You wanted to thank him for showing you that it was okay to believe in soulmates. That it was okay to dream about having one someday, like you used to when you were a kid, but you couldn’t. Not because you didn’t know how, but because you didn’t want to give him false hope that you could be his.

And god, you wished you could be his and that he could be yours. But he wasn’t. You’d spent quite some time with him now, and though it did feel natural, speaking with him about things that you normally never brought up, you’d probably notice that he was your damn soulmate by now, if he was. You hated that he wasn’t, but that was just how life worked, you supposed. You couldn’t always get what you wanted. First Sarah, and now Ryan. 

(You ignored the little voice in your brain telling you that Ryan was, in no uncertain terms, nothing like Sarah, and that your want for him was different than your obsession with Sarah. You didn’t want to think about that right now. Or really ever.)

“Hey, c’mere.” Ryan must have noticed that you were looking like you were in the middle of an emotional tsunami, because he stood and opened his arms up. “Bring it in.” 

You cracked a smile and stood, wrapping your arms around him tightly, just as he did you. Oh, god, this was the best hug ever. You had never felt more warm and safe and _happy_ in your entire life. Why couldn’t Ryan be your soulmate, damn it? 

“If you want a place to stay that isn’t Sarah’s, I have a guest bedroom. And I have a streaming set up in there, too, if you wanted to just come over and borrow it for streaming.” Ryan told you, stroking your back gently. You smiled into his chest, breathing in his scent and committing it to memory. “What I’m getting at is I want to hang out with you more while you’re still in town.”

“Well, you _do_ have my number. Text me when you want me and I’ll be there.” You were so glad Ryan couldn’t see your face as you blushed at the accidental implications you made with the whole ‘when you want me’ thing, but either Ryan didn’t notice that or didn’t say anything, only chuckling, the reverberations vibrating his chest and tickling your face a bit, but it was still nice.

“Careful. I might just be having you over all the time.” Ryan warned, pulling away from the hug at last. You shrugged, hoping the heat was still a good enough excuse for the blush dusting your cheeks. 

“That wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” You admitted. Another thing you had to admit - you had no idea whether or not this was ‘flirting’. You kind of had no idea how to flirt to begin with. Sarah was the one who did all the flirting back in those days. It had taken you ages to understand that she was interested in you. Was this flirting now? Was Ryan flirting with you and were you flirting back? You genuinely couldn’t tell. 

“Problem is I don’t want you to get sick of me.” Ryan laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, puh-lease. Like anyone, least of all me, would get sick of you.” 

And you were right. You hadn’t physically _seen_ Ryan in the few days since the two of you met, but you had been texting him and calling him nonstop. You had talked to him more than you had talked to Sarah in a year, even though you were currently staying with her. Hell, you barely even remembered you were staying with her more often than not. 

You actually spent most of your time wandering around Austin, your phone glued to your hands. You’d even done a small meetup of fans who just so happened to be in the area. It wasn’t much, but it was cool to meet people who loved your content. It always was. Since you weren’t quite big enough to be invited to conventions, you had to actually go out into the world if you wanted to interact with your fans in real life, which was one of few occasions where you didn’t mind going outside. 

And, true to your promise to Ryan, you had ended up watching some Achievement Hunter content. You couldn’t believe you hadn’t watched these guys earlier - they were incredibly fucking funny, and Ryan was… Well, Ryan was Ryan. You had teased him significantly about the whole weird animals-in-holes and the Mad King thing, but he assured you that it was popular with the fans and that he wasn’t at all ashamed. 

But, finally, Friday morning rolled around, and Ryan was texting you a bit earlier than he normally did.

**Ryan:** _Soo, I’m gonna be on a podcast in a few minutes. The one I told you about, with all the drinking. You should tune in. All you gotta do is get a 30 day trial on the website and then there’ll be a banner on the website to link you to the live show._

You raised an eyebrow, but opened up your laptop and did what he said anyway. 

**Y/N:** _A podcast, hm? So I’ll actually get to SEE you in your Natural Habitat._

**Ryan:** _Alright, Steve Irwin, settle down._

You snorted and rolled your eyes. RIP Steve Irwin. 

**Ryan:** _Ooh, too soon?_

**Y/N:** _Didn’t he die in like, 2006?_

**Ryan:** _Fair point. Are you gonna watch the podcast or not?_

**Y/N:** _Don’t get your panties in a twist. I’m waiting on YOU now. These broadcast guys are great._

**Ryan:** _Hey, now. You’re not watching for the broadcast guys. You’re watching for me._

You couldn’t fight the blush from forming on your cheeks as Ryan got a little jealous. Normally, jealousy wasn’t cute, not a single bit, but Ryan was joking, you could tell. And it was really cute. 

**Y/N:** _Well, then get your ass on screen._

No sooner than you sent the text did the podcast begin, and you could see Ryan rapidly tapping on his phone with a smile on his face as the other three men simply stared at him silently. 

**Ryan:** _Thinking about my ass, are we?_

Oh my god. You laughed out loud as you received the message itself just a moment or two before you saw Ryan hit send on camera and looked up to see everyone looking at him. 

“Oh, are we live?” Ryan asked conversationally, but with a massive blush on his cheeks to betray how ‘normal’ he was trying to act.

“Sorry, I forgot that sexting your new ‘friend’ was more important than, oh, I don’t know, your fuckin’ job.” The heavily tattooed one, Geoff, said, putting air quotes around ‘friend.’ You watched, your lower lip between your teeth as the rest of the guys laughed and Ryan only blushed harder, turning your volume up more on your headphones as you sat up straight on Sarah’s guest bed, listening intently. 

“I was not _sexting.”_ Ryan defended, and your eyes flickered down to the last text Ryan sent you about his ass. 

“Ooh, getting a little defensive there.” The British man with the big nose, Gavin, teased. 

Oh my god. How were you supposed to respond to this? Did they know who you were? As in, had Ryan told them your name? Had they Googled you? Had they found your channel? Or was Ryan keeping you a secret? You didn’t know which bothered you more. 

You chewed nervously on your lip, tapping up a message on your phone. 

**Y/N:** _Oh, please. Like you could ever sext anyone. You’re too much of a dweeb._

“I’m not getting defensive, I’m just saying that I wasn’t sexting!” Ryan protested, raising his voice a little bit. 

“I don’t think Ryan has like, the physical capabilities to sext.” You recognized the smirking curly haired one as Michael. 

You laughed to yourself as Ryan got your text and sighed, pouting a little bit. “Y/N agrees with you, Michael.” 

“Holy _shit,_ we finally have a fucking name!” Geoff looked way, _way_ too excited. Well. That answered your earlier question. You quickly opened up your phone when you felt it buzz next to you. 

**Ryan:** _Is it okay that I talk about you on the podcast?_

Instead of responding right away, you continued to watch to see right where Ryan started typing. 

“Yeah, but a first name doesn’t mean shit. We don’t know anything else other than Ryan is never off his fuckin’ phone anymore.” Michael said, gesturing to where Ryan’s phone was currently in a vice grip in his hand. 

“I wanna know more about Y/N.” Gavin stated, taking a sip of his beer. 

That was when you watched Ryan open up his phone, speaking out loud as he typed the message you had already received. “Hold on, hold on. We’ll see.” 

**Y/N:** _I don’t see why not._

You looked up from your phone screen and took out your headphones as you noticed Sarah at the now open door to the guest bedroom. 

“I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time.” Sarah said quietly, her arms crossed nervously over her chest. “Are you watching Ryan?” 

You slowly nodded, watching as Sarah shifted uncomfortably. Ever since you told her at dinner that night that you met Ryan, she had been a bit… off. And not off as in the off she’s been since you came to Texas, but more distant in a way. Definitely not the perky housewife she had been pretending to be. 

“D’you think he’s your soulmate?” She asked finally, after a bit of silence. 

“I don’t think so.” You replied, ignoring the text notification you felt next to you. “I kind of wish he was, though. He’s good to me.” 

Sarah nodded, leaning tiredly against the doorframe. “You haven’t had any memories come back?” 

“Nope. He seems to think I’m his, though. Or at least, he did when we first met, but I haven’t gotten anything back, so I don’t think so.” You looked away from Sarah for the moment, catching a brief glimpse of a close-up on the very man plaguing your thoughts. 

“Are you gonna kiss him?” 

Finally, you shut your laptop and stood, stepping close to Sarah and furrowing your eyebrows. “Why?”

Sarah’s mouth opened like she was going to say something, but she couldn’t find the right words, and closed her lips before opening them again. “Why what?” 

“No, you can’t answer a question with a question.” You always hated being short with Sarah, but you couldn’t take it anymore. “You know ‘why what’.”

“I just want you to be happy.” Sarah said faintly, her eyes glimmering with tears.

“I think you feel guilty.” The moment the words left your lips, you regretted them, since the tears started flowing from Sarah’s eyes. Those eyes that you used to love more than anything. Green eyes weren’t really your thing anymore. 

“Maybe I do.” Sarah snapped, putting one hand on her hips now, resting the other with her engagement band on her pregnant belly. “Okay? Maybe I do. Because you haven’t moved the fuck on from your life after I found Brent. You’ve stayed in our hometown and yeah, you started doing YouTube, but you’ve plateaued. You’ve stopped growing and I feel like it’s my fault.” 

Now you were the one who didn’t have words. You hated it, but she was right. You tried to climb a mountain after Sarah found her soulmate and you got stuck on the first hill and have been living there ever since. The only difference was it wasn’t her fault. It was yours.

“No, Sar.” You sighed, taking a step back and rubbing your eyes. “It’s not. You found the one person in life who could do everything I couldn’t, and I couldn’t handle it. You’ve been nothing but supportive and kind to me and now I’m throwing it in your face.” 

Sarah’s expression immediately softened, and she led you gently by the arm to sit down on the edge of the bed. “I’ve been a real selfish bitch to you lately.” 

You opened your mouth to protest, but she simply shook her head.

“No, it’s true. I knew you hadn’t moved on, and I invited you here, way out of your comfort zone, to essentially show off my soulmate, my ring, my baby bump, and my new life, because I wanted selfishly to have you in my life here in Austin even though I broke your heart.” Sarah continued, looking down guiltily at the floor before looking over at you. “It wasn’t fair to you, and I shouldn’t have pushed. 

“Sarah-” 

“Let me finish.” Sarah said sharply, making you abruptly shut your mouth and nod. “I’m being weird about Ryan because I’m still being a selfish bitch. I say all the time that I just want for you to be happy, but now that your attention is on him and not me, I’m feeling attacked, even though I’ve moved on. It’s not fair to you for me to tell you to move on and me to get upset when you meet somebody who, in all honestly, Y/N, I think could be your soulmate.” 

“Ryan’s not-”

_“Y/N.”_

You held your hands up, keeping your lips sealed. 

“Just… do me a favor. Or, I guess, do yourself a favor. Kiss the man.” Sarah’s words were quiet, but that didn’t make them any less powerful. “I know you better than you seem to think I do. I think he’s yours. I’ve never once seen you like this. It’s the same look I see in myself now that I have my soulmate.” 

This time, it was you who started to cry. Your voice was the most pathetically broken thing you had heard in your life, but you’d never really cared about having emotions in front of Sarah. She may not be your soulmate, but she was still your very best friend for a very long time. 

“What if he isn’t? What if I kiss him and… nothing?” 

To your shock, Sarah started _laughing._ “Y/N. Sweetheart. I am living proof that that hasn’t stopped you before. Why would it stop you now?” 

“Because he’s _Ryan.”_ You protested, wiping the tears from your face.

“For fuck’s sake, kiss the man.” Sarah laughed again, grabbing your phone and handing it to you. You bit your lip, taking it from her outstretched hand, and pulled her into a tight hug. 

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry.” You murmured, squeezing the woman who you were now finally able to let go. “Friends?”

“Best friends, in fact.” Sarah confirmed, grinning at you as the two of you pulled away. “I’m kicking Jeanine out of my wedding party. She was a fake cunt anyway. You’re my new maid of honor, if you want it.” 

“I would love it.” You beamed, unlocking your phone with shaking hands. Okay. You could do this. You could finally do this. You laughed as you saw the text Ryan sent you. 

**Ryan:** _I am so sorry about them. They won’t stop bugging me about soulmates since I’m the only one in the main group who doesn’t have one, I promise I’ll get them to stop._

**Ryan:** _… They didn’t scare you off, did they?_

**Ryan:** _Y/N?_

You looked over at Sarah, who was looking at you like her little baby was taking it’s first steps. Any other time, you’d resent the look, but you needed the courage her pride in you was giving you. 

**Y/N:** _When can you get away?_

Ryan’s response was almost immediate. 

**Ryan:** _If it’s an emergency, right now._

Sarah cooed at the message that sent your heart racing. 

“Oh, he’s so your soulmate. And if he isn’t, you’d be a total idiot not to keep him.” Sarah squealed. 

“Shut up.” You mumbled, blushing and not-so-secretly really liking what she was having to say about this whole thing. 

**Y/N:** _Well, I mean, nobody’s dying, I just need to see you in person._

**Ryan:** _Then I’ll meet you at the park in an hour._

“Help me find a good outfit?” You asked your once-again best friend, who excitedly began tearing through your suitcase and then immediately began helping you get ready.

And now, here you were, looking more put together than you had, if you were being honest, since Sarah found Brent, sitting at the bench you had first met Ryan at, waiting nervously.

You were surprised, actually, that you weren’t as nervous as you thought you’d be. You wondered if this was just another one of the universe’s signs that you were really Ryan’s soulmate, that you weren’t feeling like you were going to have a panic attack about what you were about to do when ordinarily, you’d be crying on the floor in the fetal position.

“Are you okay?”

But, apparently, according to Ryan’s soothing baritone, you still looked super nervous. Yikes.

“I tried to nonverbally tell the guys not to be such pricks about the whole soulmate thing, but I couldn’t do that live without making you look bad.” You finally looked up at Ryan, who was looking more nervous than you were. You stood and looked up into his bright blue eyes, feeling more relaxed the longer you did, and it seemed like you were doing the same for him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You admitted. “Sarah came into my room shortly after I texted you and said it was okay for you to talk about me on the podcast, and we talked up until I texted you back.”

Ryan quirked an eyebrow. Damn that eyebrow. “I’m getting the feeling this is a pretty significant talk you must have had. Do you want to sit back down?”

You shook your head. “No. I mean, yes, it was a significant talk, but I don’t want to sit down.”

Ryan simply nodded, but otherwise stayed silent, allowing you the space and the time to say what you wanted to say. It was nice. You took a deep breath and decided that maybe just kissing him out of nowhere wasn’t as good of an idea as you and Sarah thought it was earlier, even if it was super romantic. You needed to have an actual conversation with him. If this was going to work, even if you weren’t his soulmate, you needed to be able to talk to him.

“When Sarah left me, I was crushed. I had thought I had lost everything. I thought that the universe was out to get me because it took my soulmate away from me, even though she wasn’t my soulmate.” You began, keeping direct eye contact with him the entire time. “It took me years back to the shitty mentality I had as a teenager that soulmates were ridiculous and fake. After all, if she wasn’t mine, then nobody was, right?”

You paused, taking another moment to breathe, trying to relax. “And I’ve been living like that since she left. And she just kind of called me the fuck out about it. Told me I’ve stopped growing as a person after that.”

“I don’t think that-”

Much like Sarah had done to you earlier, you simply raised a finger up and lifted an eyebrow. “Let me finish.”

Ryan closed his mouth and then pretended to zip his lips and pocket the key. You rolled your eyes, but smiled at his childishness. God, he was cute.

“She was right. She was very right. And I don’t want to live like that anymore. I’m ready to move on.” You said, trying to tell him without telling him what you wanted to say. You looked meaningfully up at him, hoping he’d catch on so you didn’t have to say it, say that you wanted to try to kiss him.

Ryan reached into his pocket and pretended to tap the invisible key against his lips, silently asking you a question. You laughed, slapping his shoulder.

_“Yes,_ you can talk now, you fuckin’ dweeb.” You giggled.

“So, not that I’m not really proud of you for moving on from all of that, but why was it so important that you tell me now?” Ryan asked, genuinely curious rather than being rude, but you could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Because half of the conversation Sarah and I had was about you.” You told him.

“About me?” Ryan echoed, and you watched as he started to bounce a little bit on his toes. He was really, really cute.

You nodded slowly, wishing that he’d finally get it, but it looked like you’d have to be more direct. Damn it. You were gonna embarrass yourself, you just knew it.

“You know how I don’t have any of my memories from a past life. Which means I either don’t have any at all because they don’t exist, or they’re locked inside of my brain because I haven’t kissed my soulmate yet.” You told him, your cheeks flushing bright red.

“Right.” Ryan nodded. You exhaled and looked pointedly up at him. He really was gonna make this as difficult on you as possible, wasn’t he?

“And you know what you said to me when we first met?” You continued, and you watched him nod again, though this time, much more confused, before you could almost physically see him connect the dots.

“Oh. _Oh.”_ Ryan was looking down at you like you had just told him he had won a million dollars. Even if this man wasn’t your soulmate, you were lucky you had somebody who cared about you like this again. “So, does that mean you wanna, uh… you wanna try to, uh…”

“Oh, my god, Ryan, shut up and kiss me.” You didn’t even have time to be embarrassed about snapping at him like that, because his hands were cupping your cheeks and his lips were being pressed gently, yet deeply, to yours.

The second he did, it was like everything the books told you it’d be.

It was _him._ Of course it was. It was _always_ him. It was always Ryan. Not always as how he looked now, of course, but always at his core the man who was kissing you now like his life depended on it. You were his, and he was yours. It was literally that simple. You were soulmates.

_Soulmates._

When Ryan went to pull away, you placed your hands on his cheeks and kept him where he was, kissing him for just a few moments longer. You could feel him smile into the kiss, and you smiled right back. You had finally found him. And, hell, you weren’t even looking for him. Well, you remembered vaguely that you had been the one who searched for him for the last few years, so it was cool to see that both of you kind of just happened to find each other again.

“I’m sorry I denied it for a little bit there.” You mumbled as you pulled away, stroking his cheeks gently with your thumbs. You felt so _whole_ again. God, you had your Ryan again. Everything was as it should be.

“That’s okay, sweetheart.” Ryan smiled, kissing the top of your head. “S’not your fault you couldn’t remember. We’re together now, and that’s what matters.”

“Mhm.” You hummed, kissing Ryan once more just because you really liked it, then to resist temptation, took a small step back. You may be soulmates, but that didn’t magically erase the fact that you had only known this him for about five days. You oughta get to know him better before you went and kissed him until the two of you got kicked out of the park for public indecency. “So, I’m gonna be in a wedding coming up real soon here. Think you could go and buy a suit and join me?”

Ryan grinned widely. “What, you asking me out or something?”

“Technically, since I’m gonna be the maid of honor, it’s not gonna be much of a date, but sure, Ryan, I’m asking you out or something.” You took his hand in your own and squeezed, unwilling to let him go far without you, at least for a little while. Those books you scoffed at when you were younger were right - you were definitely in the honeymoon phase right now, as cheesy as it sounded.

“Any excuse to see you dressed up.” Ryan teased, and you wrinkled your nose in false distaste, bumping his hip with your own. As you now remembered, none of your past lives were particularly fond of dressing up.

“Alright, asshole.” You laughed. “Is there any good places to eat around the park? I’m starving.”

“Sure are.” Ryan began to lead you to the parking lot, swinging your linked hands together as you walked. “Celebratory Soulmate Finding Lunches are the best kinds of lunches, I think.”

“I’m inclined to agree, even if that is literally only a once-in-a-lifetime lunch.” You said thoughtfully.

“True.” Ryan agreed, letting go of your hand and wrapping his arm around your shoulders, pressing a kiss to your temple, smiling down at you, and you smiled right back up at him.

Like you knew from life experience, this was only just the beginning of some of the best times of your life, and you couldn’t wait to make more memories with your soulmate.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a very, very special request from one of the nicest followers on my tumblr (which I have under this same username, and I also have a sideblog at tooter-reeth for multi-fandom non writing posts). Also, shoutout to Shauna, for always giving me the inspiration I need. You rock, Shauna. <3 And thank you to YOU, for sticking around and finishing this giant monstrosity of a fic! I hope you like it!


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